Hallowed Weens

We’re watching The Ring in the office today and all of us remarking on how much better the original Japanese film, Ringu, is. We’re all having a good time riffing on the movie, but as soon as we put it on I immediately thought of this trailer/spoof. My frustration with bad characters and unreasonable situations is fueling most of my jokes.

My biggest thing against most horror movies is that the decisions the characters make are completely ridiculous. Now, I know they’re not written to be the most believable of characters or anything, but the disconnect it just too great between common sense and the decisions most horror movie characters make. Are you being hunted by a serial killer who has already killed several of your friends? Stay home alone! Have you found an old tape that supposedly kills anyone who watches it in the belongings of a teenage girl who has recently died along with all of her friends, the sole survivor having been locked up in a mental institution? Watch the tape! Then let your son watch it!

I’m picky about my fictional characters. It makes me a bad movie buddy for B-films and scary movies. Because I’m a critical viewer and I ask “why?” Don’t get me wrong, I love fantasy and adventure stories. They’re my favourite fiction genres. But the characters have to be believable!

My apologies for what now seems like more of an unfocused rant against bad writing and stupid decisions. The original goal was to discuss bad movie choices on Halloween. Though I’m okay with where we’ve landed here because bad characters make for bad movies. Want to really make a scary movie? Have your characters make realistic, paranoid human decisions. But maybe that’s too real? Is the reason that so many horror characters are so stupid because if they’re not people get genuinely scared and that’s no fun? I’m getting lost again, but my point is that unbelievable, unrealistic characters in stressful situations make me angry. If a supernatural evil is crawling out of your television, you wouldn’t just stand there until she/it gets to you. You’d haul ass in the opposite direction.

Also, I talk during bad movies. Sorry, I can’t help it.